BasiaLovesYou

i just thought you should know....

2005-12-08T18:31:27Z

tetradeka @ 2005-12-03T19:27:00

2005-12-04T03:28:20Z

i posed nude for an artist today

tetradeka @ 2005-11-18T16:54:00

2005-11-19T00:54:42Z

i didnt get that job at border's. boo hoo.

i guess ill paint some more DnD miniatures

dream

2005-09-06T14:37:50Z

i had this awful dream that i was drowning in some sewer with a bunch of people. tim and walter were there, and they were drowning too. i could grab one person and swim through a hole and save them, but i wouldnt have time to go back. in my dream, i saved walter. but when i realized that i couldnt save tim too, i screamed and i killed myself. then i was in my own hell, where i drowned eternally.

tetradeka @ 2005-08-21T10:22:00

2005-08-21T17:24:02Z

chris came to visit me yesterday and we had an awesome time. but a very weird chain of events led to him leaving my place at 3am. im glad he was there to listen to me whine about everything and be a good friend.

tetradeka @ 2005-08-18T22:03:00

2005-08-19T05:04:15Z

"no, i dont believe in god
so i cant be saved.
and i dont believe in love
so i cant be tamed."

tetradeka @ 2005-08-18T14:10:00

2005-08-18T21:10:58Z

reading over tims old journals, i notice that he rarely talks about me.

tetradeka @ 2005-08-18T08:03:00

2005-08-18T15:04:46Z

ive been so nervous lately that all i can feel is nausea. im always afraid that im going to throw up.

tetradeka @ 2005-08-17T18:22:00

2005-08-18T01:23:48Z

Keun called me and wanted me to come by and help her paint the walls back.

HAHA! sucker!

NOOOOOOOO!

2005-08-15T16:49:50Z

the first day of school.

my feet

2005-07-27T17:46:38Z

i just had some foot surgery and eveyrthing hurts. Not to mention that i still have to unpack everything from moving into my new apartment, which is nice. I had a weird dream about nick, he was ordering a mail-oder bride and i was helping him pick her out.

tetradeka @ 2005-07-21T22:53:00

2005-07-22T05:55:38Z

walt doesnt know that i have a live journal!

anyway, im exhausted. ive been packing and moving, and im not even the one thats been doing the heavy lifting. foot surgery coming up, not excited.

weddings

2005-07-12T16:25:23Z

so im going to a wedding on saturday. this is the first time that ive been to a wedding since i was 6, so im wondering how its all going to be. its strange, there is something about going to a wedding that makes you girlishly think about your own. and then i realize i wouldnt have anyone to be my brides maids.

i had a dream last night where i was going to a all girls university and we had slumber parties. then i played the piano like mad and everyone cried because it was so beautiful. i love Chopin....

tetradeka @ 2005-06-17T08:42:00

2005-06-17T15:44:03Z

"I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

riviting information

2005-06-11T19:17:02Z

for all of you who have held your breaths this past month, i give you the verdict:

All is well. me and tim are back together. the end.

tetradeka @ 2005-05-14T09:52:00

2005-05-14T16:55:44Z

so i have a car! hurrah!

but no one noticed that someone tried to gerry-rig the back window to the top. i guess it was broken and someone tried to hide that fact from my dad when he bought the car. so now the cheap-o glue is coming undone and my widow can fly out at any moment. i suppose that could be a bad thing. i have to wait until monday to get it fixed, because no one in town has the correct tools to fix it! goddamn european cars!

this is really weird:

2005-05-12T05:30:22Z

my mom told me she watched the Paris Hilton porno tape.

tetradeka @ 2005-04-26T16:02:00

2005-04-26T23:03:27Z

I passed my driving test. after two years of asking for rides, its over.

roommate

2005-04-22T19:02:00Z

i just found out that keun has been using my shower things. Theh, her boyfriend took my towel and used my toothbrush. i am so angry, i can strangle both of them. to make it worse, keun has a specific "disease" on her "skin" that i dont want her giving to me! ever!

poker

2005-04-14T18:27:53Z

we went to spike's last night and talked about poker for monday. i, having never played poker, execept with my cousin in poland, needed to be taught. walt was taking me home, so he was gonna show me. on our way home, my neighbors were outside talking to keun. there was some tournament starting in a few min, and we were invited to play. we decided it was best for me to learn first, then bet all my money, instead of losing everything all at once. so...i know how to play poker now. its actually kinda a dumb game, if you think about it. its all about guessing and luck. i dont see any real skill involved, other then bluffing effectively. it amazes me that there are people who go and do this for a living.

so ill put my bluffing and guessing skills to work on monday(?)

a moment of crisis

2005-04-13T23:01:32Z

a critical moment in my life is at hand.
me going to poland or not is at hand.
nursing school is at hand.

i feel very tense and worried.

i wonder if any reads this

2005-03-23T19:34:30Z

i think im losing my mind.

This is Really important

2005-01-31T19:40:11Z

Im very worried. Im also very scared. For a while i have been having these hallucinations that are so real that they are scaring my very badly. When i was a little kid this happened twice, i think. i thought that my toy cars were moving around by themselves. A few months ago, i was lying on my bed, and tim was in the room. I looked up at the ceiling and i saw knives strung on strings hung above me, ready to fall on me. i panicked, but i couldnt move. Tim came and tried to tell me that there was nothing there, but i was sure that there was. Another time i was half asleep and i thought this fist sized thing was crawling toward me. i tried to snap out of it, but it just kept crawling to me. tim was there, and i was pushing against him, whimpering. he thought i was talking about a little spider but he finally understood what i ment. and finally, and the worst so far was me sitting at my computer a few nights ago, and i thought the ceiling was coming down on me and crushing me. I was so scared that i threw up. I called tim and told him to come over right away. i was hyperventilating and panicking even when he got here. There have been other things, like peoples faces in walls and peoples figures coming to me and such. The worse is that i know that its not real, but i cant stop my head from showing these things to me, and i freak out. Im worried for several reasons. first, where did my seizures go? into thin air? second, this is going to require extensive medication and supervision, possible the loss of me going to school again and taking nursing classes, which i just cant afford anymore.

I dont know who to talk to. Im starting to think that im seriously developing a mild case of schizophrenia or dementia (less likely). I cant take any more breaks. i cant lose my license again. I really think that this might be bad.

tetradeka @ 2005-01-31T11:13:00

2005-01-31T19:15:44Z

Me and tim had a stupid fight, and then we made up.

this week im starting my clinical and im nervous.

Ive been kickin' school's ass for a few weeks now. lets hope this trend continues.

tetradeka @ 2005-01-16T15:29:00

2005-01-16T23:29:13Z